Violeta Noir

A week can feel like a lifetime
especially when love has always answered

I counted empty chairs
not because they were empty
because they remembered you

The kids laughed
life continued
mornings still found bright windows
and crispy Celsius beside vivid dreams
and forgotten thoughts

The world, unmoved, kept turning
and somewhere a little boy prepared to become a father

I thought about all the women that carried you

one held your broken heart
one held your broken body

I tried to hold your broken spirit

but love isn’t meant to be carried forever
at some point it must learn to walk

So I gave you the only thing I had left

the truth

I know you’re wounded
I’ve watched it gather in your eyes
heard I’m not okay offered softly
as though pain could answer why

I never doubted that you hurt
I only stopped believing hurt
could excuse the hurting

You’re having a son now

he gets to be the scared little boy

that time for you is over

because one day a little hand will reach for you
not asking how deeply you were hurt
only asking whether you will stay

whether you will choose

whether he will inherit your strength
or your fear

I can’t answer that question
neither can love

Only you can

So I stopped trying to rescue the little boy
and started praying for the man